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Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!!!!!

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

Monday, October 26, 2009

My Altar

As a child who grew up Catholic, I have fond memories of building an outside altar with friends in honor of Mary during her month of May. I remember borrowing my Ma's statue of the Blessed Virgin and adorning her with a crown of clover stems and flowers. We picked various flowers from gardens, as well, to put at her feet. The whole process of setting up an altar and praying by our altar gave me much joy.

A few years ago it occurred to me that I could have a year-round altar of my own. I remember the wise advice of friend, Jenna. She said, "Now Jenny, don't go putting your altar in a place where Chris can trip over it or where he'll feel like it's being stuffed down his throat." She was right. After all, it's not like I'd ever had an indoor altar in the then 27 years of our marriage and it would likely take Chris awhile to get used to the idea. I took Jenna's sage recommendation and decided to place the altar in my garage dye studio; a place that, for the most part, only I frequented. This arrangement worked well except that my dye studio tended to get messy, which I eventually began to feel was not a proper environment for my altar. Add to that, the cement floor was cold (despite a space heater) and it was not particularly pleasant to meditate/pray by the altar for any extended period of time.

After our youngest son, Alexander, flew the coop, I took over what was his bedroom and made it into my "spinning room." The spinning wheels, a futon-made-into-couch to knit/read on, the computer, a TV, and the 55 gallon fish tank (complete with 4 imported goldfish: Aristophanes, Aphrodite, Eros, and Andromeda) are in the room. What better new place for my altar?!!! I put a red and green plaid cloth over a small table sometimes used to mount wool combs on and have the following items of importance (to me!) on top~
  • An amethyst cave that has a naturally embedded white, circular moon of quartz in the middle of it.
  • A small copper, incense cauldron with a spinning wheel motif on the front and sand inside.
  • Two brass candlesticks. The left candle is green for Mother God. The right candle is red for Father God.
  • An orange-petaled candle holder with a white candle, for the Holy Spirit.
  • Small statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary and another of St. Joseph holding the infant Jesus.
  • A small carved statue of a female saint enclosed in a wood "cave" of sorts...not sure which saint this is, but I remember buying her for 25 cents when I was very small, at a jumble sale held at a school. I've always loved this little statue and one day it fell off a shelf and the head of the saint broke off...eek, decapitated!!! I glued the head back on and no one is any the wiser.
  • Various rocks, crystals, shells, etc.
  • A crystal glass with a bird on the stem, holding a variety feathers.
  • A little cupped dish with flowers painted on from my Grandma Mayer.
  • A larger, flatter dish with flowers painted on and with three sides (maiden, mother, crone).
  • Three tiny brass bells.
  • A wee purple Teddy bear in honor of a friend's mother who is fighting cancer.
  • Two small vases that my Alexander brought back for me from Japan; one is pink and one is blue. Because excellent black cat Chloe is allowed into my spinning room, I shall make sure whatever flowers/plants I place into the vases are non-toxic.
In front of my altar I have placed a chair with a comfortable cushion. Already I am finding this spot the perfect place for meditating, praying, and simply resting.

At present I am enjoying reading the book, "Second Sight," by Judith Orloff, M.D.. I LOVE this book and am savoring each page. A few days ago I came upon Dr. Orloff's section on altars. She wrote that her Tao teacher suggested her altar face the east, which mine does. Judith writes, " the Taoist tradition, the birthplace of spiritual power..." is in the east. Judith continues, "When my life gets hectic, I know that I can return to my altar to rejuvenate myself. No matter how stressed out I am or how fast my mind is spinning, just sitting in stillness makes everything slow down." Dr. Orloff writes, "It's your own private a church or synagogue. But it doesn't have to be conventionally religious unless you want it to be. The important thing is that you sit quietly with yourself, find your intuitive voice, and begin to listen."

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

An Important "Life" Dream

With our youngest son, Alexander, moving "for good" to Japan to be with his new wife, Emi, we've all been under a lot of stress...moving him out of his apartment; figuring where to put the stuff he's not taking with him but which is too important to dispose of; being there on his last day of work; helping him close his accounts; making sure he pays the nearly last of his bills; watching him say his good-byes; etc. What has taken a lot out of me personally is watching the movie-in-my-mind show Alexander from birth through now; playing over and over again the poignant moments we've shared together. As I watched this many-scenes movie, the tears welled up despite my efforts to quell them, sometimes literally pouring down my face. A Ma will always be a Ma.

A few mornings ago, I woke up and remembered an incredible dream. I immediately related the dream to Chris. He thought for awhile and said, "You need to write that dream down right away. It's the symbolic story of your life up to now."

My dream began with Chris and I as students in a math class taught by a nun in partial habit (circa late '60s - early '70s). I didn't understand anything of what was being taught formula-wise. As always, NOT KNOWING how to do whatever was being taught upset me. Chris had no problem with the math formulas whatsoever.

The next day (or another day) we all went into the same classroom for a math test. I had no idea how to do anything. A grandma stopped me before going into the classroom and handed over a baby with developmental difficulties. (note: This child looked like a young version of a child I know in Brattleboro. His mother was the daughter of a woman who decided not to rent a room to Alexander, our youngest, when he was looking for a place to stay.) The grandma gave me the baby to watch. I held the child during the test, trying to comfort him, but couldn't even attempt to take the test even if I wanted to.

A girl was answering the test questions by drawing pictures. I knew she was getting the correct answers despite not doing the formulas the nun had taught. Chris did the test with no problems, using the nun's formulas perfectly. After the test the nun used the girl who drew pictures as an example of NOT following directions, even tho' the girl got all the correct answers. As the nun chastised the girl, I thought how the nun had failed to see that there's more than one road to success.

End of dream. I won't analyze the dream here, but will say that Chris was IS the story of my life on many levels.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Pros and Cons of Schools/Programs

Spent a fair amount of time yesterday researching AIHT (see Going Back To School) and looking online at other programs and options. As I compare and contrast, I'll place my own personal pros and cons about what I find on this "ongoing" post. Check back if you're interested in what I find out about other schools and programs.

A woman, turns out to be a "faculty" member, answered the phone when I called AIHT. She told me that I'd need to talk with my "admissions adviser," who was in a meeting at the time and would call me back. When she called that afternoon I found out that the original woman who answered the phone was the instructor for the Parapsychic Science program I was interested in...the ONLY instructor for ALL the classes offered in that particular program. A big red flag went up in front of my eyes when I heard that.

My own personal pros for AIHT:
  • Beautiful hard-copy (paperback) catalog; aesthetic, purple, textured cover with lovely pics throughout; impressive-looking
  • Interesting class titles offered in 5 exciting disciplines
  • Interesting class titles offered in Parapsychic Science (the program that caught my eye)
  • Overall cost for a Master's degree and/or PhD seems low compared to other programs I've seen advertised online and elsewhere
  • Reasonable payment plan options
  • Books are included in tuition fee
  • Ability to work from home at own pace

My own personal cons for AIHT :
  • There is just ONE instructor for ALL the classes in my chosen discipline. Geez, what if we don't get along? What if we saw things differently? The adviser assured me this never happened. That answer itself posed problems for me.
  • The adviser kindly e-mailed a few syllabi to me when I requested to see them. The books that would be sent for the given class were listed in each syllabus. What was expected to be learned from these books was generally included. The expectations didn't seem challenging enough for me. The learning was to come primarily (read: only!) from the books the school chose. No handouts were discussed. No CD's nor DVD's. No teleclasses. No least not teaching the way I understand teaching...from the instructor.
  • I copy and pasted the 3-4 books for each of the classes (the adviser e-mailed me, as examples, 3 Master's class syllabi and 3 PhD class syllabi) to see what each class offerings separately cost on Amazon. Generally, all the books for a said class could be had for $40 in or under in total. So, since there are about 10 courses (including an elective) in the entirety of the Master's degree for Parapsychic Science, the school is out conservatively $400 for the books (students pay the shipping)...and no doubt this figure is much less because they probably get a wholesale or educational deal on books. Which leads me to...what is the student paying for with the $4000 Master's degree tuition? Well, tests are given for each class and sometimes a project or paper is assigned, so the instructor would have to grade these. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT!! Well, that and the final piece of paper saying I have a Master's degree. Again, for the cost of $4000...which is sounding very expensive for what is being offered, the deeper I delve.
  • When I asked if I'd have contact with any other instructors at all, my adviser seemed vague but I gathered that the one-instructor-who-does-it-all is it. The adviser did say there was an online forum they provide so students can chat with each other. Hmmmm. I can find such forums without being in school.
The bottom line: I'll pass on AIHT and keep looking.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Going Back To School

I'm seriously considering going back to school for an online Master's degree in Parapsychic Science at AIHT. And my lofty dreams don't end there...perhaps that Master's will lead to a PhD in the same discipline. I ordered a catalog from this school over a year ago and my interest in their particular program has not waned, despite having done some research on other such schools. Today I called AIHT and will be talking with an adviser soon.

Chris has been very supportive as we head towards a decision, siting that I don't need to give up what I inhaled in the fiber arts field at all. Instead, he suggested I consider to think ahead about the Master's thesis and PhD dissertation...perhaps incorporating what I learn in the degree programs with study of sacred textiles and the spirituality/religion/philosophy behind them, textiles that were inspired and channeled from the Other Side, prayer shawls, textiles associated with healing, learning about various regions and cultures where textiles go hand in hand with their spiritual practices, etc. The possibilities are exciting!!!!

Additionally, we've been talking about me taking related workshops from instructors and places I'm interested in. In particular, Sylvia Browne has a hypnosis workshop leading to a certificate that I'd like to strongly consider. Also, I KNOW that there will be various classes at Lily Dale that I'll not want to miss. I plan to keep an eye out for workshops lead by many of the authors whose books I've been devouring over these last couple of years.

That old saying, "When a door closes, a window opens," never felt better nor more correct. I've recently ended my three year run of writing on my first blog, "Spinning Spider Jenny." The timing seemed perfect for such an ending...the blog had served its purpose of helping me write a book and share what I've learned over the last thirty years. I experienced no sadness from this ending; only relief and joy. Also, Chris and I jointly decided it was time for me to stop teaching spinning in person. Instead, we're beginning the research needed to produce downloadable spinning and dyeing instruction that will be available for sale online in the future. The thought of working hand-in-hand with Chris on this project makes me very happy.

The future is bright! I'm going back to school!! Yippeeee!!!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

My Brother Jack

A few nights ago I had another vivid dream. This time I saw my oldest brother, Jack, who crossed over in 1998. I hadn't seen Jack in any dream after he died until now. All his life Jack coped with serious illness, and with medication he was able to successfully hold a job and find some form of happiness. He developed a terminal brain tumor in the last year of his life. Jack was operated on, but the glioblastoma multiforme eventally won. Way before I realized I was clairvoyant and clairsentient, and before I had done any reading on all-things-metaphysical, I knew Jack was "hospitalized" on the Other Side. I knew that his spirit was being healed and that was why I never felt any communication from him. I learned that there is no "time" on the Other Side, so even tho' it's been years since Jack crossed over, this spiritual intensive care would have possibly felt to him like it was done in the blink of an eye.

The dream showed a happy, healthy, fit, brother Jack. He was walking and balancing along the top of some kind of stone fence, smiling and carefree. His hair was longish on top, but cut like a buzz-cut. He was clearly joyful and seemed to be in about his 30's. All around the stone fence was a beautiful field filled with tall grasses and wildflowers. Jack's hair blew gently in the warm breeze as he walked.

This dream made me extremely happy. I'm so glad Jack has truly found peace and happiness.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Finding What's Lost

I was just about to write on telepathy (and will do so at a later date) when something that's been happening all my life occurred...something I used to take for granted. Actually, it was put into play about 20 minutes ago when Chris asked if I might know where an adapter to his headphones was?

Now what came about always occurs when I am mentally "looking" for something. Pictures of places start to appear in my mind. Also, there's knowing-nudges to check places, no matter how unlikely. I've been trusting this process too long not to check every nudge and place shown me. I always thought everyone had this ability and put it to use, but now I'm not so sure. Chris, nor either of my kids, have never shown (to me, that is) that they could regularly find lost things. How about you?

Before I continue, know that I've been asking St. Jude and St. Anthony for help to find things since I was a wee kid. I believe my Ma told me to ask them for help because they have a special knack when presented with this "finding" task. These days I also say a quick prayer to whatever "retrieving" Angel can be of help. Kind of like a one-two-three punch to get the job done. It's "They" who put the pictures in my head and the knowingness in my heart. And it's They who help me, 9 times out of 10, find the object. The 10th situation is usually because the object is no longer in my home or on our property anymore.

Anyways, here's what happened tonight: I first got the image of our junk drawer in the kitchen. You know, that drawer where half-used candles share the cramped space with thumbtacks, various cords, and Christmas ribbon. No go. Then I got a picture of this awful little bowl I made during university (in the '70s) in ceramics class. I disliked that class and never much enjoyed making pottery, tho' I am an admirer of good pottery. But I digress... That bowl was glazed pink, white, and beige and was kept on/in one of our Alexander's bureaus, when he lived with us. Well, heaven knows where the bowl is now (actually, I on asking this, can "see" it in his top dresser drawer. Note to self: verify this when he comes home from getting married in Japan). For obvious reasons, even if an adapter was still in this bowl, this information is of no use to us right now. To continue, I was nudged to look inside a box in Chris' top dresser drawer. No go. Then a picture took me to a drawer in my dye studio. No go. Then the nudge took me to Chris' studio room where I looked in a mug with a broken handle that held small versions of what's in our kitchen junk drawer. No go.

By this time Chris told me not to sweat it. But once on the case, I have to keep going until I get to that dead end of where the item is no longer in our house or I simply have to wait for a quite "Ah Ha" moment at a later time. I asked Chris, "Could you have put the headphones with adapter at one time in the outside pockets of your keyboard case?" He proceeded to check the first pocket. No go. Then he rummaged through the second pocket...and VICTORY!

I said rather nonchalantly, "I think this is another form of my clairvoyance and clairsentience; a particularly useful form of clairvoyance/clairsentience!" I reminded him I've always had this ability...that is, with a lot of help from my friends on the Other Side. Thank you St. Jude, St. Anthony, and retriever-of-lost-items Angel!