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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Strength In The Word No

It's taken me a lifetime to learn how to say no and mean it. Even now, I have to keep working on this issue because it's easy to fall back into patterns of yes-yessing and regretting my oh-so-readily-given compliance later. "No" doesn't have to come from a place of negativity. "No" can be born in renewed strength and self confidence. "No" can be healthy on all fronts. "No" can not only serve the person who is saying it, but be in the best and highest interest of all involved.

When something or someone is not working or is not a positive influence anymore in my life, I find that the best thing for me, if possible, is to walk away from the person/situation. I become ill when I take on what others are thinking and feeling, negating my own thoughts and feelings. For years Chris would ask me, "Why are you internalizing their issues; their pain; their hangups?" Well, there's that whole empath thingy that I am: See past posts, Empathy Help!!!, On Being An Animal Empath, and Learning To Believe In Yourself.

Sometimes this walking away is extremely painful, such as when the person you leave behind is a friend or family member. But if saying no in these circumstances comes from a place of love, and if I remain open to the situation changing for the better, knowing that I'd be willing to renew the relationship should the situation become healthy again, then saying "no" is good for all concerned. Infusing some needed "airspace" around unhealthy muck can help breathe goodness back into it, or at the very least keeps the muck from expanding.

Chris gave me a good talkin' to several nights ago. On the subject of my waayyyy too frequent headaches and stomach upsets (see the post: Herbal Tinctures And Infusions), he said that me, myself, and I let this happen. At first I argued with him, but then knew he was correct. Chris said I gave up my power and needed to take back what was rightfully mine. He asked me to envision a spigot from my head to the rest of my body. I was to visualize turning off the spigot when negativity from others creeped in. I was to shout NO! For the last five days, when a headache or stomach ache tried to take hold, I did just that...I said, "NO, NO, NO!" Guess what, the pain went away, due to the personal strength of saying no and reclaiming my own power. Well, and I'd be remiss not to add that I received A Whole Lot of help from my Angels and Guides.


  1. I'm going to have to practice your shouting NO!

  2. You've got an excellent point. I'll have to start envisioning that spiggett (sp?) and shutting it down when negative words/thoughts, and influences flow onto me. Thanks for the insight.

  3. Jenny, As you know I ALWAYS say no first. It is easier to change your mind from no to yes after reflection than to change from a yes to a no.
    Love, Leslie

  4. I love you, Leslie. I'm so blessed that you are my friend.
    xoxoxo, Jenny