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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Personal Thoughts On Change

Not long ago on Facebook I quoted Carolyn Myss from her wonderful book, "Anatomy of the Spirit:"

"Every new crossroads means we enter into a new cycle of change - whether it be adopting a new health regimen or a new spiritual practice. And change inevitably means letting go of familiar people and places and moving on to another stage of life."

This quote keeps popping up in my head time and time again. It's a quote that feels like it's been pertinent for all of my life, but more so now than ever before.

On pondering, let me begin by saying that I've made a vow to myself not to hide nor belittle what's going on with me psychically to anyone who questions me. Anyone. That doesn't necessarily mean I'll go out and scream that I'm psychic to the world. I'll just be sure not to deny the gifts that have surfaced for me in this lifetime. Friend, Jenna, is adamant that I'm not newly learning to give readings or healings for the first time. She says I'm simply relearning it all. In other words, I already know how to read for people; the psychic gifts just needed to be reawakened. Friend and psychic healer, Lee, has said that I haven't seen anything yet regarding these gifts...just wait...all I need is to be is patient. Patience is not easy for me, to say the least.

I've also vowed not to say the following anymore: "I didn't ask for these gifts." That's not true. I did ask for them. See the past post,
Another Clairvoyant and Clairsentient Experience. And what's more, I'm very proud to be psychic and am ready to embrace the paths where these gifts will lead Chris and I. Something tells me that Chris and I will be even more of a team than we already are.

So, back to the quote. I'm pretty good at moving forward. Yes, I can be stubborn like lots of folks and tend to accept change, not to mention my friends' and teachers' suggestions, on my own terms. But what I do know about myself is that I need challenges to keep me interested; new paths to bring sparkle into my eyes and a rosy glow to my cheeks. After 30 years in the fiber arts, it's not that I still don't have a place in my heart for spinning, dyeing, and knitting...it's just that I feel like that cycle for me has more or less been completed. I've fulfilled my contract signed in-between-lives regarding the fiber arts. I can still spin, etc. but it's not to be my all-day-all-night pursuit. Instead, the fiber arts will now provide me with much needed balance (Thank you, Lee...I remember you insisting this would be so. You're right. Of course. LOL!)

What's not so easy for me regarding change is the "letting go" of friends and even family. There were folks that I thought would be present in my life...this lifetime...forever. I couldn't have predicted nor imagined that this would not be so.

Case in point: I had a girlfriend I had met in third grade. I had come to the parochial grade school because my family had just moved to that area in Detroit, and I noticed one girl seemed about as shy as I was at that time. We became friends. If I really was honest about this, I'd have to say we had very little in common then and even more so as the years wore on. But we had a mutual respect for each other and enjoyed taking bike rides together. Over the years we were there for each other more or less, celebrating our respective weddings, supporting each other during funerals, etc. She was made Godmother of my oldest son. Time went on and I left the Detroit area for good. She lives on the outskirts of Detroit to this day. Five years ago I came back to Michigan for my 30th high school reunion. I knew she'd want me to stay with her but I knew why I couldn't. It was no secret that she had been delving deeper and MUCH more strictly into the religion of our childhood upbringing. After years of being a "pick 'n choose" Catholic, I had moved on from this religion...kept the best of it; left the rest. Even during our phone conversations I felt like I was being preached to, and believe me, it didn't feel good being preached to by a childhood friend who was raised in the same religion as I had been. I got the sense that she thought I was going to hell in a handbasket. A final straw came when she had gone to a retreat and had told me that she had asked the group to pray for me; pray that I'd come back to my senses regarding religion; pray for something irregardless of how I felt about it. I KNEW I couldn't stay at her home when I came back to Detroit for the reunion. During a phone call, I told her as gently as possible that I could not tolerate being preached to. She hung up on me. I called back and apologized for having hurt her, but was not apologetic for the reason of why I said what I said. Our friendship was never the same. Eventually, she stopped talking to me altogether. Sad. To this day, I personally pray for her and her family. I don't pray for something she wouldn't want. What I do pray is
: "May the God power in me greet the God power in thee, (state name of person), in the power of the Holy Spirit for the highest good of all." I had learned that beautiful prayer from my friend, Lee, and more recently from Rev. Elaine at Spiritual Insight Training I (see the past post, Spiritual Insight Training 1). I also daily pray that a beautiful shawl of silver, gold, Light, and Love cover the shoulders of her and her family. And for the few other people in my life that I have felt the need to "let go," including a beloved sibling...or for those who have felt the need to let ME go...I pray the same two prayers and bid them peace and happiness always.

It's not easy to let go but it's sometimes necessary for reasons we don't always immediately understand.

What's your thoughts on change and letting go?

2 comments:

  1. Hi Jenny,
    I stopped speaking to my mother (although I have seen her around...she lives near me) 3 years ago. I want to be able to wish her well and be gracious so I will try harder about that. I know it sounds horrible to some but I just felt it was time to finally let go.

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  2. Hello Jody,
    Thanks so much for writing. No, Jody, what you wrote doesn't sound horrible to me. Here we all are, spirits in human bodies...trying to get along with each other and cope in our respective environments, all during the times we're aiming to shine our Light as bright as possible and live life truthfully. I wish you and your mother well. Consider trying each day to say the little, but PROFOUND prayer, above in purple. I do believe it can work miracles.

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