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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The 'Sour Grapes' Syndrome

As a kid growing up in Detroit I spent most of my elementary school days at a Catholic Parochial school. I was at one, particular school from 3rd grade to 8th grade. My family lived approximately a mile from the school and while I would get a ride in the morning, usually by my girlfriend's mom who lived across the alley from me, I was...for some reason or t'other...on my own to walk home each day.

Most of the kids in my class lived much closer to the school, and only a few went my way. There was one girl who occasionally would walk with me part of the way home. For the first few times things went nicely. We chatted and walked and chatted and walked. But for some unknown reason (at the time) to me, she became what I'll term as 'sour grapes.' In fact, let's call her 'Sour Grapes' to keep her anonymous.

Being just a little kid, I had no idea why this change in her happened. And being the deep-thinking, introspective child that I was (and still am) I pondered and pondered some more on why this occurred. Now I'm no fool to think that I'm everyone's cuppa tea (let it not be said that I think I'm everyone's darling*), BUT for the life of me, I couldn't figure this girl out, nor her reaction to me...at least not at first. What was really weird was that I actually thought that this girl and I had some neat things in common. It must have been somewhere around 3rd or 4th grade that I actually named a syndrome after her. No joke. Because it's best to stick with her name as being 'Sour Grapes' (tho' please know that I used her actual full name for the syndrome), whenever I encountered in my life someone who just plain didn't like me, I called it the 'Sour Grapes Syndrome.' My kids have heard her name more than once over the years and just accept it as family legend. I'm 53 now so that's a long time to be bantering this girl's (now woman's) name about. I wonder what she'd think if she knew that she's gone down in the history of my family as the title for a not-so-nice syndrome. Sets me 'a worrying that it's possible that maybe I, too, am the name of some family's syndrome. eesh...hope not...lol... Keeps me on my best-behavior-toes...well, at least as much as a spider can be...LOL!

Over my 31 years of marriage to Chris, he's heard me use the name of this syndrome whenever any of our family encountered folks we knew didn't like us. So over those years, Chris and I have chatted about the 'why-might-this-be-so' regarding each situation. I'd say that 99 times out of 100 (more or less) it had to do with jealousy of some sort. Jealousy is a real son-of-a-gun-tough-cookie because the person who the other is jealous about feels nigh to helpless to do anything about it. After all, jealousy often crops up when a person dislikes someone for simply being who they are and what they, themselves, are often not. It involves all sorts of issues, including lack of self esteem, insecurity, resentment, possibly even fear, and the potential for MUCH more on the part of the jealous person. Jealousy can be downright dangerous. It's a lose-lose situation because everyone feels bad when jealousy enters the picture.

Nowadays I know I CAN do something positive when I encounter the 'Sour Grapes Syndrome.' I quietly say the prayer taught to our class by Rev. Elaine at FOTS: May the God Power in me greet the God Power in thee, in the name of the Holy Spirit, for the Highest Good of all. This amazing...and I mean amazing...prayer allows my Higher Self to address the other person's Higher Self, where no jealousy or other untoward attributes exist. A good prayer indeed, that can be repeated as often as you like, for as long as you like, in whatever situation you deem it will help with. And know that it WILL HELP. You'll see...

* An aside, tho' related, and speaking primarily about myself...I've been known to say that one blazing Sagittarius Sun (that would be me) is about all an entire roomful of water signs (Scorpio, Pisces, and Cancer...who for some reason I am surrounded by in my lifetime; Chris included as a Cancer Sun) could take (shall we say 'stomach'?) in any given moment. As for the other signs and what they think about us Sag's...well, I think it may go downhill from there...lol... Oh, and then adding the fact that I have Aquarius rising may lead one to the conclude that I'm a bit too...well, toooo something...for some folks to handle, let alone tolerate.

2 comments:

  1. I LOVE the prayer, Jenny - it's a beautiful bridge to connect us to other people. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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  2. I'm so glad you love it, Nancy. You're very welcome.

    ReplyDelete