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Friday, August 10, 2012

Your Choice

Today I was busily sewing crystal beads on the edge of my black, velveteen Tarot cloth in order to 'bling' it up for some upcoming Psychic Fairs that I'm going to be facilitating readings at. Sparkly beads make me happy. I love looking at them. I love working with them. I love the beautiful colors of such beads.  I love how beads 'dress up' just about anything. I love how beads make me feel.

As I was sewing with my Ma's thimble in place, I was reminded of a long-ago scene straight out of my childhood. Ma was trying to teach me to hand sew. Now if truth be told, she was not a patient teacher by a long shot and I had not yet developed the thicker skin that I have today as an adult. I was extremely sensitive and prone to crying, especially if her impatience got the better of her, and her voice rose as her words became cross. 

I do, however, remember one wise gem that she said at that time. I was fumbling with the thimble she wanted me to use, about to give up because I just couldn't get the hang of having it on my finger. I've never forgotten her response to my frustration. Ma said simply, "Well, you can use the thimble or never use the thimble. It's your choice." Her matter-of-fact words sunk in and I knew it was MY choice to sink or swim. It was a turning point for me. I put that thimble on and never looked back, learning to use it as the tool that helped a needle get into stubborn cloth and come back out again.

I was thinking today, as I sewed on bead after bead, that I often have found myself at a crossroads in life. Should I go forward or should I turn back? Should I take the challenging route or the easy route? Should I stay or should I go? More often than not, it's MY choice whether I want to rise to the occasion or not. Blame does not enter into this picture; personal responsibility and action does.